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Is Your Love Worth Fighting For? @LisaEvers Discusses Relationships On #LoveSoldiers

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New York City is a hot bed for independent, classy, and chic chicks who have everything going for them except one thing, “Mr. Right.” Often times women end up in relationships, or situationships, as Brooklyn rapper Fab calls it, where they are chasing love like the wind, giving their all and left feeling unsure if the guy really likes them.

Fox5 news reporter Lisa Evers broadcasted on Facebook a special edition of Love Soldiers, a spin off from her hit show Street Soldiers, which airs on Fox TV (Fridays at 10:30 p.m.) and NYC’s number one radio station Hot97 (Sundays at 6:00 a.m.), and tackled love issues. Keep in mind that Lisa’s qualifications on love and relationships stems from growing up with three jock brothers and her life experiences. Considering the fact that Lisa’s career is well seasoned, she was signed to a high end modeling agency, she was vice president of a volunteer crime-fighting organization, she work at various news stations, she founded a non partisan voting campaign for the hip hop community, and she has her black belt in martial arts, #ImWithHer – she’s accomplished enough to know a thing or two about life and love.

The Fox5 newzgirlz delivered a few questions to Lisa and this is what was asked:

  1. How do you know if the guy’s intensions are true?

In terms of intensions, if you have to ask yourself what the guy is thinking or feeling then you already know the answer. Remember that when a guy really wants something, he’s going to go after it. If he thinks he can just have it given to him, he’s not going to work for it. Make sure the guy has enough challenge to know that you’re interested, you’re not playing games, and that you’re not trying to hurt his ego (basically leave out just enough cheese for him so that he will keep chasing you).

*TIP*: Don’t wait on his every move, no matter how hot he is.

*TIP*: Your “average Joe” (the guy who isn’t so “hot”) may make for the perfect mate but often times they aren’t given a chance.

*TIP*: The one you date is not necessarily the one you mate.

2. What does a woman really want in a man?

Depends on the woman, there’s different stages in your life. Ladies in their late teen early twenties may just want to go out and have fun and not be in a serious relationship. Another stage in a woman’s life is when her career is taking off and she’s not focused on having a family. At any stage in life, the woman has to know what she wants first and foremost and the guy has to know what he has to offer (not in a materialistic way). 

*TIP*: The most important things to (most) woman are feeling respected, loved, and a guy that will be there for her no matter what, like when her car breaks down for instance. 

*TIP* Women don’t like men with the “roaming eye”, women like to feel like the Rihanna song, like she’s the only girl in the world. 

*TIP*: Basic manners and basic courtesy is a MUST!

3. What do you do when you’ve been in a relationship for a few years and feel like you need more effort from him?

Instead of focusing on him and trying to get him to do what you want, take a look at yourself and see what’s going on. Focus on you and don’t get taken for granted. Don’t be like the furniture or his favorite sweatshirt thats just there. Create space and mystery so he realizes that you have other things going besides him. Book a weekend trip to Miami or Vegas with your girls if you need to.

*TIP*: A woman should be a man’s fantasy, his best friend, and the one that will hold him down, and a man should be the same for her.

*TIP*: Trying to get a man to do what you want him to do will make you lose your feminine power! Instead of focusing on him, pull back and switch up your pattern (example: take longer to answer his text message, don’t always be on call for him. This isn’t playing games, this is letting him know that your life doesn’t revolve around him).

*TIP*: Always look at actions, they speak louder than words, actions never lie.

4. “Breaks” in relationships?

When a guy says he wants to take a break it just means that they want to break up with you but he still has feelings for you. As a woman, you have to be super clear with him that if he wants to take a “break” that you won’t be with him intimately, you plan to date other people, and you are going to tell your family that you two are no longer together. Often times guys like to take breaks because they need “space” but will still act like you two are in a relationship i.e. call you and want to hang out. He is trying to take control of the situation but make sure you take control of your heart!

*TIP*: Since he threw a curve ball at you with wanting a break, throw it right back at him and let him know up front that if we’re on a break you need a few weeks to process this and you’d prefer no contact for a few weeks.

*TIP*: Have enough courage and respect for yourself to not give in to him. 

*TIP*: Think of the break like a detox, at first it may be uncomfortable and challenging but once it’s over you’ll feel better than you did before. 

5. How do we turn a love tragedy into triumph?

Take responsibility for your own happiness and actions. Instead of blaming yourself for a past relationship failing, give yourself feedback on what you could have done better. In the future, stand your ground, set standards and stick to them. 

*TIP*: Don’t be bitter or turn into a crazy person! Instead, draw on your feminine power, strength, and grace, after all, those qualities are the essence of womanhood and they should be embraced and respected more.

*TIP*: Ladies remember that a man has to always feel like a man. The modern day woman may make more money than the man but never let him feel like he is worth less than you.

*TIP*: Keep your heart open but protect it with a fence. Love makes the world go round so don’t stop loving, just guard your heart better.

6. Should men pay on the date?

YES! Unless you want to date a man who’s a sponge. When a man is courting you and invites you out he should pay. If you two have been together in a committed relationship then it is okay for the woman to pay or even make a home cooked meal.

*TIP*: The guy should pay on the date.

*TIP*: The guy should pay on the date.

*TIP*: The guy should pay on the date.

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