All the single ladies, before you ask yourself “where are all the good men” be sure that you’re the “good thing” that will attract them. Like the saying goes, a pretty chick is a bill and a real woman is an investment, once you decide the type of lady you are, finding a mate that matches your needs will be as easy as pie.
On the latest broadcast of Love Soldiers hosted by Hot97 and Fox5 news reporter Lisa Evers alongside her newzgirlz crew, Amantha and Suzanie, they put together a survival kit for love. As Lisa likes to say, “relationships are a mine field and you may lose the battle, but you can win the war.”
Real love shouldn’t feel like contention, but in the case where it does, it may be time to check yourself, take a step back, and set higher standards moving forward. A smart girl knows that you can’t change a man and a smart move would be to take charge and change your situation. In order to avoid making the same mistakes from your past, Lisa’s most important piece of advice is knowing exactly what you’re looking for and the type of experiences you want to have. Once you have a solid idea of what you want, lock into your mind the things you can or can’t accept.
During the live broadcast, the Fox5 newzgirlz asked questions that viewers had and these are Lisa’s love survivor tips:
- What do you do when you’ve just ended a relationship and your looking for romance and passion? – Arthur J. Moochy
- Reconnect with your swag. Do whatever it is you need to do to feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself – anywhere you are, that’s when we’re most magnetic and most attractive.
- Before you go hard looking for the next person make sure that you’re healed from your past.
- Healing and detoxing from a past relationship is a must but how do you not bring baggage from your previous relationship into a new one? How do you even know when you’re ready to go back into the dating world when you’ve had a bad experience? – Tanya Coleman
- Take a look at yourself and see if you dropped your standards at any given point. Remember that you can’t change a person, you can only change yourself and make yourself feel good. Think about why you were originally attracted to him in the first place, ask yourself what did you like about him. Take note on what changed and why it went sour.
- You know you’re ready when you’re ready.
- Is it bad if you’ve always been single, never been in a relationship, and solely focused on your career? – Rolando Martinez Jr.
- NO! That’s not bad at all. When you’re fully focused on your career, putting too many things on your plate will cause something to drop. It’s like surfing, when the big wave is coming you have to learn how to balance so you don’t fall. Eventually if you want to be with someone you’ll know when it’s time.
- How do you get over someone who you’ve been in a committed relationship with for almost six years and they get married to someone else two months after you two broke up? – Evelyn A.
- Think about what you can do to comfort and protect yourself.
- Find something new you like to do, a sport, volunteer, or binge watch on comedy shows (or any genre that may interest you).
- Take the weekend to “mourn” him, but by Sunday put into your mind that you’re done with him. It will take time but eventually you’ll heal. Be determined and tell yourself you deserve better and the way to get better is to have new things going on that’s positive.
- If you go out with your girls tell them to not bring his name up. Even trashing his name will still spark up memories and he’ll be on your mind.
- VERY IMPORTANT! Major Key!!! – With relationships, even in your career, if over time it’s not evolving or growing than ultimately it is dying.
- Is the saying true, “to get the nail out, you have to hit another nail?” In other words, the best way to get over somebody is to move on to the next person. – Amantha and Suzanie Fox5 newzgirlz
- Depends on the circumstance and your state of mind. If you approach the situation with the mindset that you and your ex are officially broken up and you’re looking for an adventure or a fling with no strings attached, go for it (adult women of course). If you feel that you’ll get hooked on this new person after you hook up with them then that could damage you. It works best when it’s spontaneous and with someone you know and that you’re comfortable with. This is an individual choice, sometimes it works, and sometimes it causes a disaster. Always remember to know what you want out of an experience so you don’t set yourself up to get hurt again.
- Can you be in love with two people at the same time? – Anonymous
- Yes you can be it’s possible, in different ways. As a woman if you’re intimate with two people at the same time that’s a humongous problem, that’s not a cool thing. If you’re in a committed relationship with someone you’re in love with and are in love with someone else too, that’s when you need to make a decision.
- What to do when your lover had a child outside of your relationship and you bonded with the child but now you and the guy have parted ways? – Tanya Coleman
- Your number one job is you (your happiness). Lisa, Amantha, and Suzanie applauded Tanya for “dodging the bullet.” The relationship was messy to begin with and she gave him a second chance so it’s a good thing she got out of it. It is unfortunate for the young child’s sake that she got attached to Tanya but Lisa reminds her that it’s not her child and not to let the guy use the baby as bait to wheel her into the relationship. Guys like this usually have other skeletons in their closet so be thankful you got out of it.
- How long should you wait for a ring if you’re in a committed relationship? – Anonymous
- Two years……Life was built so that there’s change, there’s growth, or there’s decay, there’s no standing still. If the relationship is standing still it’s about to go backwards or slowly decay.
- Don’t have a gold-digger mentality toward marriage and want to tie the knot just because you feel pressured to. Ask yourself, do you really want the person, or do you just want the situation. When it’s the right person the situation is going to evolve organically. When it’s your soul mate things will just click.
- If the guy is acting up, shake him up (not in a game playing way), but create distance or take a trip with your girls if he really needs a wake up call. (Check out more power moves you can make if your partner isn’t stepping up – last episode of Love Soldiers recap)
- Ladies remember that men sense when you are giving your all to them and also remember that men love “the chase” so keep them on their toes, even after you get the ring.