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Relationships & The Holidays – Survival Plan For Thanksgiving – #LoveSoldiers Recap

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Lisa Evers who reports exclusively for Fox5 and Hot97 with her hit series “Street Soldiers” has a spin off show”Love Soldiers” that tackles love issues and relationship problems. Lisa alongside her Sunday night Fox5 newzgirlz crew, Susannie and Yisel are on Facebook every Sunday at 6:30 p.m. answering questions live and giving a guide on how to handle the situation.

Whether you’re single, married, dating, or divorced during the holidays, you can always count on your loved ones to remind you about your status. To avoid awkward moments or a family feud, having a survival plan for this year’s Thanksgiving will have you prepared for any possible interrogations.

1. How do you know when you should take someone to Thanksgiving dinner?

  • If you’ve only been dating someone for a couple of months and “haven’t gotten into a rhythm yet” then it may not be a good idea to invite them to meet your family so soon. You want to avoid people asking you about your future together with this person if the relationship is new. 
  • If someone in your family recently passed away, also not a good time to bring a new person around at Thanksgiving dinner.
  • Before you make the decision to bring someone to Thanksgiving dinner ask yourself, “are they ready to meet my relatives?” “Do they know me well enough?” “What is my goal?” “Do you want them to feel like they are apart of your family, or do you want to show them off to your family?” If you really want them to get to know your family then arrange a day after Thanksgiving where you invite them out to eat for a more intimate setting versus meeting your entire bloodline. 
  • Keep in mind, emotions are still running high after this year’s election, bringing around a new face could cause more tension.

 

2. What do you do when your spouse and their family is a Trump supporter and your family is full of Democrats?

  • Have a conversation with your spouse and your family and make the decision to not talk about politics.
  • If you feel someone is about to mention politics, always have a segue! Susannie suggests bringing out the pie at that moment. Lisa mentioned to talk about football or how great the food is. The point is to always have an exit strategy and keep politics off the table. 
  • After everyone ate, get fresh air, grab some hot chocolate and go for a walk. 

 

3. What do you do when you’ve been with a girl for a couple of years and she is starting to put on a little weight? It doesn’t matter to you, but people tend to put on extra pounds around the holidays, how do you communicate your concern?

  • Any negative comment you make about a girls weight is going to hurt her feelings.
  • Buying her workout clothes would be insulting if she doesn’t have a fitness routine already.
  • Try making her feel good, compliment her on the color she’s wearing.
  • Step it up in the bedroom! That should burn off calories. (Lisa keeps it 100%!)

 

4. What do you do when your ex’s family has invited you over for Thanksgiving? To go or not to go?

  • If you have any ounce of feelings for the ex then the smart thing to do would be to politely decline. Thank the family for the invitation but let them know you have plans already and can’t make it. You can always visit them another time but to avoid getting attached again, don’t go during Thanksgiving. 
  • *Remember* Be on EX ALERET!! The ex’s always pop out during this time of year because it’s “cuffing season.” Don’t fall for it! 

 

5. What do you do when you’ve been out of the dating loop for 20 years and sober for 22 + years, how do you put yourself back out there in the dating world?

  • Don’t feel pressured to get back out on the dating scene. Do things that interests you such as biking, running, going to church, or volunteering. Follow your natural interests and you’ll meet people naturally that way. Be in healthy environments. 
  • Explore online dating if that is something you’d be open to.
  • Buy some new clothes, stuff that you feel good in. 
  • Make sure your home is presentable for when the time comes that you invite someone over.

 

6. What do you do when your family asks you rude questions like “why are you single?”

  • SIDEBAR: no matter what stage your in, single, married, divorced, or dating, everyone gets asked this question. If you’re dating they want to know when you’re getting married, if you’re married they want to know when you’re having kids, and the cycle continues. No need to get defensive or give a wacky answer, no fear, #lovesoliders here.
  • The best way to answer a question is to have a comfortable and graceful response ready before hand. You don’t have to give a long explanation, you can simply say that you haven’t found someone that you click with yet and leave it at that. This would be a great time for a segue, “is there anymore pie?” 

 

***BONUS***: Lisa’s love tips:

  1. Don’t waste your time trying to convince a guy to do something. It just doesn’t work. Just do you and they’ll follow.
  2. Taking a woman to a chain restaurant for a date is a great way to never see her again. Grown woman aren’t impressed with chain restaurants.
  3. Ladies, if a guy invited you out and wants to split the bill with you, RED FLAG! RUN FAST!!!

 

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