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#LoveSoldiers – Friends With Benefits vs. Relationships

Love Soldiers – Episode 6 – FWB vs. Relationship

“Friends with benefits” also known as FWB is a term used when two people are intimate with each other but with no strings attached, similar to a situationship. This type of companionship could be fun at first but if you’re looking for commitment, you want to “get in his head before you get in his bed” as Lisa Evers says.

If you’ve been in a “thing” for a few months, when is the right time to have “the talk?” 

  • If you’ve been consistently seeing someone, after three months is a good time to have the talk. Be clear about what you want but don’t make the guy feel pressured. It’s not what you say, but how you say it.
  • Definitely have the conversation before you get intimate with him. Remember, “get into his head before you get into his bed.”

If you’ve already given up the goodies, is it too late to try to be in a relationship with him?

  • If you’ve already been intimate with him and he doesn’t call you the next day, just let it go. As DJ Khaled says, “don’t play yourself.”
  • A man’s actions will tell you everything you need to know and it all depends on the connection you have with the person. You may hook up with a guy on the first night and end up getting married in the future or you may find that you two are better off going your separate ways.

What if a guy jumps into a relationship with you just so he can jump in your pants?

  • Never let a guy tell you what he thinks you want to hear!
  • Remember to watch his actions more than you listen to his words. Whatever he tells you in the beginning, believe him. For instance if he says he doesn’t want a relationship, don’t think that because you’re a great person you can change his mind.
  • If his actions and words are consistent then thats a good sign.

What if you’ve been friends with a guy for a few years and you want to confess how you feel about him?

  • If he’s in a relationship, definitely not a good idea. You don’t want to play yourself and get hurt.
  • Think about how you define your friendship with him. Have you two hooked up, does he show special interest, and do you and him go out on dates?
  • Telling him how you feel could go two ways, he may feel the same way or he may not, and whatever response you get you have to be ready for. If you two are great friends, having this talk could make the relationship awkward if he doesn’t feel the same for you.

What if the guy takes you out, treats you right, but doesn’t post pictures of you or introduce you to his family?

  • Chances are, he’s seeing someone else or multiple people.
  • If it’s been this way for almost a year you may need to have the talk with him and figure things out from there.

Second chances for an ex?

  • If they’ve been on your mind and you really want to give it another try talk to them over the phone or meet in person. This isn’t a conversation that should be had through text message. If you don’t get it off of your chest, you’ll just keep wondering about it.
  • Giving it a second chance means that things could go either way and which ever way it goes you have to be open and ready for it.

Should a FWB relationship have a time limit? How long could you be intimate with someone without catching feelings?

  • The danger with FWB is that one person always gets more emotionally involved. So if you’re looking for just a FWB companionship it should be for the short term.
  • If you develop a regular pattern with the person things may become tricky because you’re acting like a couple but in reality you’re not.

Could a FWB turn into a serious relationship?

  • Sometimes it does because a FWB is mocking the early stages of a relationship.
  • Always have your mind prepared in advanced, if you two are just FWB tell that to your mind so that in your heart you don’t feel like you’re in a relationship.
  • Always know what you want, what you can handle, and whats acceptable.

What do you do when he’s ready for a relationship but you’re not?

  • The best thing to do is to keep it 100% with him. Communication is key.

How long should you “go with flow”?

  • The key is knowing what you want and being upfront about it. You’ll know when it’s time to have the talk. As Lisa said on previous episodes, if you two aren’t evolving and growing then the relationship isn’t going anywhere.

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